I am going to apologize upfront, this post is a little emotional and sappy. It comes from two places: a comment a potential client made during an initial meeting and the fact that I'm getting married in just over a week.
As we were wrapping up our meeting the potential client asked me if we worked with any men. I said yes, but only a few, our clients are roughly 90% female. The she asked if the men we worked with had the same doubts that they deserved to or could succeed that women did. I hadn't really thought about it, but the answer was no. One of the things most of our clients have in common is the fear of dreaming big and the inability to trust that they can have what they want. I'm no exception.
Not only can they not really picture what this dream job they're creating looks like, they don't really think they can ever attain it. They think they'll get close, but never all the way there. In contrast, the men seem to have no doubt they'll get there, they're just looking for advice on how to get there faster.
That brings me to the second reason for being sappy, my upcoming nuptials. My fiance and I have been working on our vows and one of the things that has come up is my self-doubt and the encouragement and support he's given me to do what I want to do despite it. I can honestly say had I not met him I would still be working two jobs, struggling with both and wondering if I was ever going like my work life.
Did you feel the tug at those heartstrings? Just wait there's more.
It's one thing to have the vision it's another to believe that you deserve it. I wish that all of you are lucky enough to find someone in your life, friend, family or spouse that gives you the permission to live out your dreams, supports you through the rough times and failures, and then still has faith that you will succeed, especially when you can't find the faith yourself.
In the chance that you still haven't found that person I want to propose two things. First, try to find it within yourself. We are all capable of giving ourselves this gift. Believe that you are worthy of all you can dream and then dream bigger than you possibly dare. There is no reason you can come up with that will convince me you don't deserve it all. I'm sure of it.
I also know this takes time. You will need to work through fear and doubt and many other scary feelings. You won't know where to begin or what your next step should be. So while you're working to be the best cheerleader in the world for yourself, tell someone else your dream. I bet you'll be surprised by their reaction. Tell a total stranger if you're afraid you'll get laughed at, but I bet you won't.
Or tell Shelly and I. That's why we're here. We want to support you, we want to lead by example and we want to surround you with a community of like-minded, empowered people doing exactly what they want.
I'm going to leave you with that thought for the next two weeks while I go marry the man who has given me the strength to try the things that scare me most.
I challenge you to do the very tangible task of describing this life you're working so hard for. Write the story of your day from waking up to sleep. Who is there? What do you do? Where are you? How do you feel?
I encourage comments directly to this post, but also feel free to email me directly with questions, reactions, struggles, etc. firstname.lastname@example.org
If you're an Etsy seller in the San Francisco Bay Area, contact Jen from Mama's Magic Studio about joining SFEtsy!